He said what?!

Outbursts can often be a difficult component that comes with children with sensory needs and those on the Autism spectrum. I realized early on that there were several reasons for these outbursts. First of all, as a disclosure I don't want to say that there shouldn't be consequenses for their actions from an outburst, but we do need to keep in mind sometimes these are out of the child's control depending on the severity of the disability and the other factors (such as diet as I mentioned in my previous post). 

Why does the outburst happen?

 It could be that the child misunderstood what was expected of a situation and became immediately upset. In these cases we need to take the time to slow down our thinking and not become reactive. The more anxious we become the more the situation can get it of hand. Being calm will help them become calm (even if not immediately) Anxiety in you as the caretaker will make them continue in the belief that something really is wrong. Hear them out. Let them be upset. When all is done then and only then can you address their behavior and the consequences (make sure it's related to the offense). I have also found when I provide a positive outcome of the calmness they are more responsive. (Such as, if you calm down we can go for a walk and talk about it-choose an activity they like but not a reward, there's a fine line) It helps them get out of fight or flight. This is the most extreme case. 

Other times it might be because their body rhythm is out of whack and they need input, even negative. So they will say things they know will get others upset (which it does) and in turn feeds their stimulation input. If you are noticing more outbursts a few things to think about is are they getting enough input? Or are they getting too much and need some calm down time put in their day. Either one can turn to impulsivity and create possible problematic situations. 

Sometimes it's a matter of change or too many new things at once that causes an outburst. Kids with sensory needs will try to take in everything they see, hear, taste, smell. It's a lot of processing for them. For children with Autism change is extremely difficult. Even new meals. They feel out of control, and when that happens it difficult for them to regulate how they are behaving (including what they say). 

I have found when outbursts happen I take note of all my son's environments (school, home, friends) to help identify the possible cause. It's not easy to stay calm and it's really hard not to worry when all of the sudden your young child  has the mouth of a sailor. It's important to note being aware of what you say out loud and what you talk about can influence the words they might choose. Chances are they might not even realize the words they are using. (No, we don't talk like "sailors" at our house but we aren't perfect). 

Teaching them what's okay and what's not okay is our job. It will be harder some days than others and you might cringe every time the school number shows up. But, remember you know your child best. My son is such a sweetie and I just have to remember that when he says harsh or mean things. I can't promise it will get better but we can always do our part to make things work.