It's hard sometimes to look at all the good things that have come out of these last nine years of discovering my son and all his multi-faceted intricate details. But through it all, hard as it can be sometimes, I am so thankful for him! My life would not be the same, he brings joy to my life and sweetness to my heart. I love all his kisses!!
From the beginning:
💗 I am thankful for the patient friends and family who have been there for me to lean on, to cry with to ask why with, and just to let me vent while I figured everything out.
💗 I am thankful for the people who were understanding when my son had a meltdown, a screaming fit, a lashing out, a running off, and "seriously did you just put that in your mouth" episodes.
💗 I am thankful for those who believed me when I knew something was going on with my son and supported me all the way, even if they didn't understand it
💗 I am thankful for the first speech therapist that my boy had, who gave me hope, and helped me navigate and made everything about him feel so normal.
💗 I am thankful for the new case worker when we moved from east coast to west coast for not only helping us with new services but letting us know if we needed anything to help us navigate our new surroundings that she was just a phone call away.
💗 I am thankful that my friends didn't pressure me or my son to start talking and they just loved him for who he was (and his cutest jibberish language ever!!)**flashback-my kids were watching Madagascar and my little boy loved the music, he was just starting to form words and loved singing the Move it, Move it song. He would sing at the top of his lungs, "I ya ya moo mi moo mi, I ya ya moo mi moo mi, I ya ya moo mi moo mi, I ya ya MOO MICH!!" It's mine and my friend's favorite memory to date.
💗 I am thankful for family that have ALWAYS been by my side and loved my boy just the way he is, not expecting anything less or anything more of him and celebrating every milestone (to this day!) he accomplishes. I couldn't have done this journey without you!!
💗 I am thankful for the occupational therapy that my son experienced with his sensory integration with the birth to 3 program and the SI and horse therapy he had, this was a game changer for us and we finally were able to start really communicating with our son because of it! (not language, that was already there, but really understanding us). Seeing my boy in his element brought me to tears the first day I saw him there, it was like the boy locked inside got to come out and play. I will never forget that moment.
💗 I am thankful for all the nurses and doctors at the Seattle Children's Autism Center who helped with his Autism diagnosis and gave us the advice we needed to hear, wouldn't have gotten anywhere else, and heard me!! (no idea how much this meant to me!!)
💗 I am thankful for all the school psychologists, special education teachers, occupational therapists, teachers and principals (it sometimes takes a village) that have helped, supported, raised, and loved my son through all the rough and tough times. They see the boy he is and nothing less. Thank you for taking care of my boy during the day when I can't.
💗 I am thankful for all the babysitters, caretakers, family and friends who have stepped in and given my husband and I a break when we really needed it, and you were not only up for the challenge, you loved the time spend with my boys.
💗 I am thankful for my oldest son who has been the best of friends to my boy (and sometimes the worst of enemies-expected!). You have always loved your brother in spite of all the hard times, you laugh at his quirkiness, enjoy his perspective, and create and teach him in a way no one else could, without you my little boy would not be who he is today. You have been the best big brother ever!
💗 I am thankful for my husband who has been on my team the whole time. We didn't always agree with our son's care for every decision, but for the most important ones we fought for him, we encouraged him, we stood up for him. We cried for him, we were scared for him and we celebrated him...together. Thank you for all that you did when I had to go back to work. For learning how to understand him and becoming his greatest advocate. I am so proud of the father you became because of it.
💗 I am thankful for my Savior Jesus, where do I even begin. You showed me how you see my boy. You showed me what a light he is to others, how he needs to be wild and free because that is who you created him to be. You gave me hope when I had none, you gave me eyes to see what no one else could and you let me know I am not alone in this, ever. I am so grateful for all you have done.
Let's remind ourselves there is much to be grateful for. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving everyone!!
Wednesday, November 23, 2016
Sunday, November 20, 2016
He said what?!
Outbursts can often be a difficult component that comes with children with sensory needs and those on the Autism spectrum. I realized early on that there were several reasons for these outbursts. First of all, as a disclosure I don't want to say that there shouldn't be consequenses for their actions from an outburst, but we do need to keep in mind sometimes these are out of the child's control depending on the severity of the disability and the other factors (such as diet as I mentioned in my previous post).
Why does the outburst happen?
It could be that the child misunderstood what was expected of a situation and became immediately upset. In these cases we need to take the time to slow down our thinking and not become reactive. The more anxious we become the more the situation can get it of hand. Being calm will help them become calm (even if not immediately) Anxiety in you as the caretaker will make them continue in the belief that something really is wrong. Hear them out. Let them be upset. When all is done then and only then can you address their behavior and the consequences (make sure it's related to the offense). I have also found when I provide a positive outcome of the calmness they are more responsive. (Such as, if you calm down we can go for a walk and talk about it-choose an activity they like but not a reward, there's a fine line) It helps them get out of fight or flight. This is the most extreme case.
Other times it might be because their body rhythm is out of whack and they need input, even negative. So they will say things they know will get others upset (which it does) and in turn feeds their stimulation input. If you are noticing more outbursts a few things to think about is are they getting enough input? Or are they getting too much and need some calm down time put in their day. Either one can turn to impulsivity and create possible problematic situations.
Sometimes it's a matter of change or too many new things at once that causes an outburst. Kids with sensory needs will try to take in everything they see, hear, taste, smell. It's a lot of processing for them. For children with Autism change is extremely difficult. Even new meals. They feel out of control, and when that happens it difficult for them to regulate how they are behaving (including what they say).
I have found when outbursts happen I take note of all my son's environments (school, home, friends) to help identify the possible cause. It's not easy to stay calm and it's really hard not to worry when all of the sudden your young child has the mouth of a sailor. It's important to note being aware of what you say out loud and what you talk about can influence the words they might choose. Chances are they might not even realize the words they are using. (No, we don't talk like "sailors" at our house but we aren't perfect).
Teaching them what's okay and what's not okay is our job. It will be harder some days than others and you might cringe every time the school number shows up. But, remember you know your child best. My son is such a sweetie and I just have to remember that when he says harsh or mean things. I can't promise it will get better but we can always do our part to make things work.
Sunday, November 6, 2016
Dyes, Diets and Wheat, Oh My!
I know with the whole gluten-free phase that a lot of people think that it's being over done due to health reasons, but it gives those of us who don't really have a choice in eating it our not a bad rap. I am gluten intolerant myself. (I have a facebook page called No Wheat No Dairy No Problem if you would like to get some ideas of how to modify your diet.) It takes time, and sometimes you need to take steps to get there, but it's worth it (at least for me and my son) to get the results (no more bloating for me and better regulation for my boy).
For sensory processing kids, children with ADD/ADHD and those especially on the autism spectrum gluten can really affect and disregulate their body and their mood. But, it's not just gluten, other things also can contribute to mood, regulation (being able to focus and stay calm when upset or calm down withing a reasonable amount of time) and the ability to engage in the world around them. Dairy, sugar and other foods also play a factor. Artificial food dyes are one of the worst things our children (or we) can eat, even more so than gluten, but I believe this to be true for all children, regardless of any diagnosis.
After my son had his diagnosis at the Seattle Children's Autism center I was informed that statistics have been proven that kids with Autism are affected by gluten and dairy, but especially gluten. It can cause them to exhibit symptoms that put them further on the spectrum than they already are. (This has also been proven true for ADD/ADHD children and children with SPD as well and helps them to focus better if they are on a gluten free, dairy free, sugar free diet). We chose to eliminate gluten and decrease sugar substantially for our son, and it made a huge difference for him. We chose not to eliminate dairy, and part of this reason for this was it was an easy protein for him and has a good amount of sodium. Children with Autism lack sources of iodine in their body, so salt is a benefit for them. So, while we choose to eliminating gluten, we do have gluten free cookies (which contain sugar) and ice cream (dairy and sugar of course), but not too often (especially since he sometimes binge eats-both an Autistic trait and a sensory seeker trait-he loved the crunch in his mouth and the pressure a cookie had on his gums).
Moderation...how do we accomplish this?! Here's what I do. I take all the cookies out of the box, and put 2 in a baggie so he knows he can only have one baggie. This actually works better than just grabbing from the box. He could always grab another baggie, but often times he doesn't (or I am not catching him!). I don't buy them often, or I use rewards for buying them. If he goes to bed well for a week, and listens well, at the end of the week he might get a treat (that contains sugar). Just being mindful and helping them make good choices is important. If they are younger, hiding or keeping things out of reach is important. Some people have even had to lock up food, and there is no shame in that as long as some food is made available (especially healthy choices). It's about protecting them, and helping them have healthy bodies and minds. If they binge eat sometimes we need to go to these extremes. I also provide visual charts of different types of healthy foods he can eat so that he is given the choice.
Most importantly, have snacks on hand, always. I once had a horrible experience on a family vacation. My son had eaten breakfast and we were out around town enjoying the day until our ferry was departing. That particular day, we couldn't seem to find any lunch choices that were gluten free. The sandwich bread that was gluten free the deli had run out of, and the soup was not one of his liking. All they had in the little shops around town was a double chocolate cookie, and yes, I made one of my worse mommy mistakes to date. I let him have the cookie. What I should have done is gone to a Drug Store and bought a pepperoni stick or some nuts or cheese singles (the single serving cheddar cheeses). What proceeded that cookie was one of the hardest meltdowns I had ever faced. He started with teasing his brother to no end, and after several failed attempts at asking him to stop, I told him he wouldn't get to enjoy the deck above the cars, we would have to stay in the car. My sister took my oldest son up on the second deck and my son exploded. He started thrashing around in the car, and screaming at me like I had done something terribly wrong. Folks, you have to forgive yourself for making choices like this. All I could do was remain calm for him and stand my ground on the decision I made. I was worried he was going to do something worse or be unsafe on the boat. He screamed and thrashed for almost an hour. At one point I even had to leave the car and stand outside as he started hitting me too. An "angel" came when he started to calm down but continued to cry. She had two dogs and thought maybe it would help him. The dogs were smelling him and almost making sure he was okay. My son just wrapped his arms around one of the dogs and started to breath deeply again. He was finally calm and I swore to myself I would never do that again.
These are some of my son's favorite snacks that we keep on hand:
Vermont pepperoni sticks
Gluten free tortilla chips (salty and crunchy snack, and my boy needs carbs!)
Almonds
Dried cranberries/nuts and chocolate chips (we buy the Trader Joe's brand)
Mini pepperoni slices (good for a trip but I wouldn't keep them in the car)
For more resources on help for diet check out this book:
https://www.amazon.com/Disconnected-Kids-Nutrition-Plan-Neurological/dp/0399171789/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1478485007&sr=8-1&keywords=The+Disconnected+Kids+Nutrition+Plan%3A+Proven+Strategies+to+Enhance+Learning+and+Focus+for+Children+with+Autism%2C+ADHD%2C+Dyslexia%2C+and+Other+Neurological+Disorders
OR
https://www.amazon.com/Kid-Friendly-Autism-Cookbook-Updated-Revised/dp/1592334725/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1478485214&sr=8-1&keywords=Kids+diet+for+autism+and+adhd
Enjoy reading my blog? Want a copy of my future book?! I am offering a FREE exercise and sensory tools tip sheet to all email subscribers! Sign up today, I will be notified of your subscription and make sure you are on the list!
For sensory processing kids, children with ADD/ADHD and those especially on the autism spectrum gluten can really affect and disregulate their body and their mood. But, it's not just gluten, other things also can contribute to mood, regulation (being able to focus and stay calm when upset or calm down withing a reasonable amount of time) and the ability to engage in the world around them. Dairy, sugar and other foods also play a factor. Artificial food dyes are one of the worst things our children (or we) can eat, even more so than gluten, but I believe this to be true for all children, regardless of any diagnosis.
After my son had his diagnosis at the Seattle Children's Autism center I was informed that statistics have been proven that kids with Autism are affected by gluten and dairy, but especially gluten. It can cause them to exhibit symptoms that put them further on the spectrum than they already are. (This has also been proven true for ADD/ADHD children and children with SPD as well and helps them to focus better if they are on a gluten free, dairy free, sugar free diet). We chose to eliminate gluten and decrease sugar substantially for our son, and it made a huge difference for him. We chose not to eliminate dairy, and part of this reason for this was it was an easy protein for him and has a good amount of sodium. Children with Autism lack sources of iodine in their body, so salt is a benefit for them. So, while we choose to eliminating gluten, we do have gluten free cookies (which contain sugar) and ice cream (dairy and sugar of course), but not too often (especially since he sometimes binge eats-both an Autistic trait and a sensory seeker trait-he loved the crunch in his mouth and the pressure a cookie had on his gums).
Moderation...how do we accomplish this?! Here's what I do. I take all the cookies out of the box, and put 2 in a baggie so he knows he can only have one baggie. This actually works better than just grabbing from the box. He could always grab another baggie, but often times he doesn't (or I am not catching him!). I don't buy them often, or I use rewards for buying them. If he goes to bed well for a week, and listens well, at the end of the week he might get a treat (that contains sugar). Just being mindful and helping them make good choices is important. If they are younger, hiding or keeping things out of reach is important. Some people have even had to lock up food, and there is no shame in that as long as some food is made available (especially healthy choices). It's about protecting them, and helping them have healthy bodies and minds. If they binge eat sometimes we need to go to these extremes. I also provide visual charts of different types of healthy foods he can eat so that he is given the choice.
Most importantly, have snacks on hand, always. I once had a horrible experience on a family vacation. My son had eaten breakfast and we were out around town enjoying the day until our ferry was departing. That particular day, we couldn't seem to find any lunch choices that were gluten free. The sandwich bread that was gluten free the deli had run out of, and the soup was not one of his liking. All they had in the little shops around town was a double chocolate cookie, and yes, I made one of my worse mommy mistakes to date. I let him have the cookie. What I should have done is gone to a Drug Store and bought a pepperoni stick or some nuts or cheese singles (the single serving cheddar cheeses). What proceeded that cookie was one of the hardest meltdowns I had ever faced. He started with teasing his brother to no end, and after several failed attempts at asking him to stop, I told him he wouldn't get to enjoy the deck above the cars, we would have to stay in the car. My sister took my oldest son up on the second deck and my son exploded. He started thrashing around in the car, and screaming at me like I had done something terribly wrong. Folks, you have to forgive yourself for making choices like this. All I could do was remain calm for him and stand my ground on the decision I made. I was worried he was going to do something worse or be unsafe on the boat. He screamed and thrashed for almost an hour. At one point I even had to leave the car and stand outside as he started hitting me too. An "angel" came when he started to calm down but continued to cry. She had two dogs and thought maybe it would help him. The dogs were smelling him and almost making sure he was okay. My son just wrapped his arms around one of the dogs and started to breath deeply again. He was finally calm and I swore to myself I would never do that again.
These are some of my son's favorite snacks that we keep on hand:
Vermont pepperoni sticks
Gluten free tortilla chips (salty and crunchy snack, and my boy needs carbs!)
Almonds
Dried cranberries/nuts and chocolate chips (we buy the Trader Joe's brand)
Mini pepperoni slices (good for a trip but I wouldn't keep them in the car)
For more resources on help for diet check out this book:
https://www.amazon.com/Disconnected-Kids-Nutrition-Plan-Neurological/dp/0399171789/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1478485007&sr=8-1&keywords=The+Disconnected+Kids+Nutrition+Plan%3A+Proven+Strategies+to+Enhance+Learning+and+Focus+for+Children+with+Autism%2C+ADHD%2C+Dyslexia%2C+and+Other+Neurological+Disorders
OR
https://www.amazon.com/Kid-Friendly-Autism-Cookbook-Updated-Revised/dp/1592334725/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1478485214&sr=8-1&keywords=Kids+diet+for+autism+and+adhd
Enjoy reading my blog? Want a copy of my future book?! I am offering a FREE exercise and sensory tools tip sheet to all email subscribers! Sign up today, I will be notified of your subscription and make sure you are on the list!
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